5 Things I Wish I Knew Sooner
1. Self-Love: The Foundation We All Need
Loving yourself sounds simple, right? But for so many of us, it’s one of the hardest lessons to learn. We grow up hearing stories that tell us we need to earn love or that putting ourselves first is selfish. But here’s the truth: self-love is the foundation for everything.
Self-love means accepting every aspect of yourself—the light, the shadows, and everything in between. It’s about:
Appreciating and honoring your body.
Celebrating your achievements.
Being kind and understanding toward yourself.
Setting boundaries.
Trusting yourself.
Taking care of your physical and emotional health.
Doing things that make you happy.
Most importantly, self-love means holding space for the parts of yourself you feel ashamed of. Shame cannot heal you—only love can. The parts of yourself you want to turn away from are often the ones that need your love the most. Begin by sitting with those parts of yourself, offering them compassion and care.
Actionable Tip:
Take a moment today to write down one part of yourself you’ve struggled to accept. Sit with it. Can you begin to show that part compassion?
For years, I desperately sought love from every person I met, clinging to the belief that someone else could fill the void within me. It took me a long time to realize that the love I needed had been inside me all along. No one could fill that void but me.
2. Gratitude: A Life-Changing Practice
One of the smallest changes I made to my daily routine created the biggest shift: practicing gratitude.
Each morning before I get out of bed, I name five things I’m grateful for. Each night before falling asleep, I do the same. This simple habit brings positivity to the forefront of my day and sets the tone for everything that follows.
Gratitude doesn’t need to focus on big, life-changing events. Even the smallest moments—a warm bed, a kind smile from a stranger, the sun on your face, or a roof over your head—are worth celebrating.
Our minds often get caught in negative loops, but gratitude is a powerful way to break that cycle. It’s like a muscle: the more you practice, the stronger it gets. As you train your brain to notice and appreciate the little things in life, your perspective shifts. You’ll find yourself viewing life through a lens of positivity, which brightens your mood and outlook.
Actionable Tip:
Tomorrow morning, before you get out of bed, name three small things you’re grateful for. Repeat the practice before you go to sleep and notice how it makes you feel over time.
3. Self-Worth: The Value You Were Born With
For years, my lack of self-worth held me back in ways I never realized. I had tied my self-worth to external factors—achievements, appearance, and the opinions of others. Somewhere along the way, I started to believe I was never good enough.
While diving deep into my healing, I uncovered a web of limiting beliefs that shaped how I saw myself.
The false stories I told myself:
“I’m not worthy unless I achieve something.”
“My appearance determines my worth.”
“I have to earn love and acceptance.”
“I won’t be accepted for who I am.”
“I’m just not good enough.”
Clearing those beliefs felt like lifting a weight I didn’t realize I was carrying. We are all inherently worthy. You don’t need to earn your worth—it’s your birthright. You deserve love, care, and space simply because you exist.
Reflective Question:
What stories are you telling yourself about your worth? Take a moment to write them down. Are they true, or is it time to rewrite them?
4. The Power of Feeling Your Emotions
Emotions are powerful teachers. For years, I ran from mine, numbing myself and avoiding the pain. But I didn’t realize that suppressing my emotions was only causing more suffering.
Everything changed when I began to welcome my emotions instead of running from them. I created a process to acknowledge, feel, and release them:
Acknowledge the emotion as it arises.
Feel into it and let it move through you.
Extract the message the emotion carries.
Express gratitude for the insight it provides.
Release it with love, allowing your body to return to balance.
Emotions are the gateway to personal power. They carry valuable information about what you need, what’s working, and what isn’t. Learning to decode your emotional language is a vital step in personal growth.
Actionable Tip:
Next time you feel a strong emotion, pause. Name it. Ask yourself: What is this emotion trying to tell me?
5. Healing Is Not Linear
When I began my healing journey, I thought of it as a checklist: identify the problem, fix it, and move on. I believed that once something was “healed,” it was done, never to return. But healing doesn’t work like that.
Healing is a spiral, not a straight line. As you evolve, new layers of pain, beliefs, and emotions will surface to be processed. It doesn’t mean you’ve regressed or failed—it means you’re growing. Each layer brings an opportunity for deeper healing and new realizations.
Healing is about loving, hearing, and understanding every part of yourself. It’s a journey of continuous self-discovery, where each step takes you closer to wholeness.
Actionable Tip:
When old wounds resurface, remind yourself: This is not a setback. This is another layer asking for my attention and love.